Your First 90 Days, Day 23: The Gift of Boredom

✨Day 23: The Surprising Gift of Being Bored

"Boredom is the bedrock upon which creativity is built." - Alan Moore

What do you do in the "in-between" moments? Waiting in line, sitting in traffic, the five minutes after you finish a task at work? For most of his adult life, Chris filled every single one of those moments with his phone. A quick scroll, a quick game, a quick search. The idea of just sitting there, doing nothing, felt terrifying. Boredom was the enemy, a problem to be solved with a dose of stimulation.

This constant war against boredom was a major driver of his porn habit. The moment he felt a pang of it, he reached for the most powerful stimulation he knew. On Day 23, we're calling a truce in this war. We're going to reframe boredom not as a void to be filled, but as a space to be explored.

The Over-Stimulated Brain

Our modern world has trained us to be intolerant of boredom. We have infinite streams of content, communication, and distraction in our pockets. Our brains have become accustomed to a constant drip of dopamine, and we have lost the ability to simply be with ourselves in the quiet moments.

This is a huge problem for recovery. If you see boredom as a state of emergency, you will always reach for the quickest, most intense "solution" you know. But what if boredom isn't an emergency? What if it's an opportunity?

Boredom is the signal that your brain is ready for something new. It's a precursor to creativity. When you allow yourself to be bored, your mind starts to wander in new directions. It makes new connections. It starts to solve problems in the background. It's in these quiet, unstimulated moments that your own thoughts, ideas, and desires finally have a chance to surface.

What Happens When You Don't Immediately Fill the Void

When you feel bored and you don't immediately reach for your phone:

• You might notice your surroundings in a new way.
• You might have an idea for a project you want to work on.
• You might realize you're actually tired and need to rest.
• You might remember you need to call your mom.
• You might simply sit and enjoy a moment of peace.

By constantly filling the void with external stimulation, you are robbing yourself of the chance to connect with your own inner world.

Action Step: The 5-Minute "Do Nothing" Challenge

This is going to sound either very easy or very hard. Your task today is to intentionally practice being bored for five minutes.

1. Set a timer for 5 minutes.
2. Sit in a chair. You can look out a window if you like.
3. Do nothing. No phone, no music, no book, no computer.
4. Just sit. Notice your thoughts. Notice your surroundings. Notice the urge to fidget or grab your phone.
5. You don't have to "clear your mind." Just let your mind do whatever it does, and watch it.

This simple exercise is a powerful form of resistance against the cult of constant stimulation. It's a declaration that you are comfortable enough with yourself to simply exist for five minutes without an external distraction.

Conclusion: Making Space for Yourself

For years, you may have used porn and other distractions to run away from yourself. Learning to embrace boredom is about learning to stop running. It's about creating a quiet, safe space in your own mind where your own thoughts and feelings are welcome.

This is where you will rediscover old hobbies, generate new ideas, and ultimately, get to know the person you are becoming. Boredom is not the enemy; it's the doorway to your own imagination. Tomorrow, we'll talk about another crucial aspect of healing: forgiveness.